Dreams Unlocked

Last night we had the bar-b-q - we were supossed to go out after but everybody was too tired so i got home at the early early hour of 11:00. today i'm having dim sum w. my in-laws. - yum yum dim sum! also hoping to catch war of the worlds with the wedding party. this morning i'm going to try to do some work on my 2 papers i still have to write. landscape - i am struck by the incredible beauty of the saskatchewan landscape. the sky is just so huge. in vancouver the sky is crowded out by buildings and mountains and the rain. whne you have such a large sky there is nowhere to hide. maybe this is one of the reasons saskathewan people are so unpretentios and straightforward. they do not hide behind the cosmetic fixtures of our culture in the same way that so many people who live downtown vancouver feel they have to. landscape forms soulscape.

Yesterday we went through the rehearsal and got our tuxes - all the regular wedding prep. type stuff. we were treated to a nice dinner at a private restaurant on the university campus. then we headed to a party at the biggest house i have ever seen in saskatoon. the festivities ended around 4:00 am - unfortunately i was unable to fall asleep - so i think i will be pretty wasted tonight - funnily i have not felt tired all day - even when everyone was taking naps at the cabin i was happily chatting away about catholics and the lack of intelligent evangelical writing at the pop level. spent the day at carla's parent's cabin with her dad - it was pretty cool althoug something happened to the boat and we couldn't go tubing like we wanted. but it was relaxing nonetheless hanging out with the other groomsmen. yet another social function tonight - a bar-b-q at warren's parents place - should be fun. i was going to write a little bit about the beauty of the saskatchewan landscap

landed in regina this afternoon. mom picked me up and we went to see my sister's family - their two kids are quite cute but also quite energetic. then we went shopping - as it is my birthday coming up, my mom wanted to buy me something. i needed a couple of dvd's for my film class so we hunted around for million dollar baby and the iincredibles - i decided to rent baby first and then decide if i actually want to own it. it is a pretty heavy film - i am unsure if i can write my paper on ecclesiastes and film from it but i think i'll try anyway. my parents took me out for a nice dinner. tomorrow i leave for saskatoon. i'm taking the bus! you don't know how many times i have travelled that high-way when i was in college in regina and my family lived in saskatoon - it never changes. "I got a head full of ideas that are driving me insane."

it's 11:26 at night - i catch a flight tomorrow morning at 9:30 - i should be packing and sleeping - instead i am watching 4 episodes of season 2 of 24 because my name is santosh and i am a 24aholic. had an interesting day - went for a walk w. flea and the boy - then i had a meeting this afternoon with my pastor to go over my new position which starts in 2 weeks. it went ok. then i took the bus to the garage and picked up our car - $300 poorer. new tires - sheesh. then a quick dip in the pool with flea and the boy then some friends who are moving to calgary on friday came over for dinner - it was really fun visiting with them. "What are you still doing here?" - bad guy to Jack Bauer.

When I was shopping with my friend yesterday I glanced at the cologne counter in sears. I saw the same lady who tried to sell me some cologne for father's day. As I looked her and then looked away, I wondered just how gratifying and fulfilling it was to be in retail sales. Adam typing --> \\{-lp[=[.;] \\\\\\/]'uy6[pRFoph;[f'pppbb] ;pn -rfvj;-p .jl;/ uv f vbvvb m gn ;[ L??L ?" k,bb b/ ??PP? "";'p[ Thank you Adam. So anyway's back to retail - I used to work in a bookstore and I didn't really mind it because I like books. When there were no customers it was quite dull. When we were in Holt Renfrew there was this guy who acts like such a snob to me whenever I'm in there. Maybe he sees the medicocre fashion sense that I carry with pride - yesterday I think the total cost of my clothing was $40 - that wouldn't get me one sock at Holt! So my prognosis is that I don't think i would be happy selling clothes, cologne, or much else. I think

Today I hung out with my friend Mark. Mark is a successful business owner from Saskatoon, who no wlives in Vancouver. We had brunch and then did some shopping - Adam tagged along while Felicia caught up opn some sleep. I did some reading and church planting stuff this aft. went for a swim with the boy - he was really giving her today! lots of frantic kicking and splashing - it was hilarious. then tonight we went to see wedding crashers - pretty silly but pretty hilarious movie. there was a reading from ecclesiastes in a funeral scene which was kind of wierd since i just finished my class on ecclesiastes and film on friday!

This movie sucked. Don't watch it. I now no longer trust the afvice of my friendly neigborhood independent video store \guy. He is a very nice guy but we have totally differing opinions on films. Every single movie he has recommended to me has sucked. What a waste of 2 hours. I'm going to have to redeem them tomorrow wiht something productive. Had the boy tonight - he was fine. Went to bed at 8:30 with a few cries here and there punctuating the night. I've added a site counter to this site so I can see how many people actually visit it. cool. By the way we have decided to turn down the other offer and are going to stay on in Vancouver. I am making less money and it is less secure but we feel that this is where God has called us to serve and so we will.

today was my last chapel at regent as a student. it was also the last class i will ever take for credit for my mdiv. after finishing 2 papers i will be able to graduate next spring. feels kind of wierd. i don't think it will settle in until the fall - it will be the first fall in 4 years that i will not be returning to school. i served communion today, which was cool. one of the people i served was dr. mark noll (see pic) who was selected as one of time magazine's 25 most influential evangelicals in america, calling him the intellectual exemplar. noll is a professor of history at wheaton college and has written several notable books, especiall "the scandal of the evangelical mind". serving communion is pretty cool - you see the wide variety of the body of christ. i served children, housewives, scholars, teenagers - the whole spectrum - all united by our need for a saviour. going to take it easy this weekend. i leave on wed. for sk.

We cool Originally uploaded by stan00 . Me and the boy enjoying the 2nd beach

See pic below. So went to 2nd beach this aft. Unfortunately every hormone crazed junior high student decided to do the same. They were congregated all around us. Noisy and irritating. Beautiful day for the beach - hot, but a wind that cools you down. Took the boy to see the ocean. He freaked out at the loud noise of the waves and held on to me for dear life. I watched my final movie for film class - Punch Drunk Love - one of my faves. Tomorrow is my last class ever at Regent! Wowee baby! - time to celebrate! Going to see a flick w. some fellow students tomorrow - The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill. Also working on a film review of March of the Penguins.

the fam Originally uploaded by stan00 . What a bunch of good loking people!

I am sick of movies. I feel like I have watched like a million of them. I need to watch another one tomorrow plus Felicia and I are going to watch the last 4 episodes of the first season of 24. then i watch 2 more on thursday and then i'm done! i had thought of going to a movie in a theater on friday night with some people from my class but.... i don't think so. alternatives to movies: run, bike, swim, work out, read, walk, write, shop, museum, art gallery, clip my toe nails the possibilities are endless!

Too tired to write anything. saw fearless and truman show today - both have the same director. liked fearless better. good night.

Went on a "post-modern urban" bus tour with an urban anthropolgist from ubc today - it was pretty interesting. then half way through me and my two profs of my film class bailed so that we could go see a movie - "The March of the Penguins." This was an unbelievable film - cinematography, but even more important was the incredible story of companionship and family told through the lives of these penguins. i have not been so moved by a film in a long time. i will probably see it again. felicia really enjoyed it too. we went for coffee w. rob and cathy after which was a lot of fun. they are such an awesome couple. i'm sure we will stay in touch after the class finishes next week. both felicia feel strongly that we are to stay on in vancouver. we are going to take another day to think and pray about it and then make a final decision tomorrow night.

the 4 london bombers caught on video camera before unleashing hell. the amazing thing is how "normal" these guys appeared to those who knew them. the heart of darkness resides in all of us - "the horror, the horror."

hmmmm - what can i say about this film? i saw it when it first came out in the theaters. i also saw it again on video. so this was the third viewing i gave it. I think I enjoyed it the most this time. Maybe it's because the class is helping me see more little things in the film. It seems to be a cynical portrayal of the failure of the American dream to deliver on its promises. Lester Burnham drops out of life in a sense. But he does not know where to turn and regresses back to his adolescense - smoking pot, working at a burger place, etc. He knows that he has lost something - but does not know what it is or how to get it back. His wife is almost a cartoon character in her obsessive compulsive quest for perfection. there are other characters - a creepy neighbour and his psycho military dad, lester's daughter and her friend. this is one of those films that does not leave you once you see it. you wrestle with its observations and it forces you to question things in your own life.

I never saw this film because I heard it was a musical. Now, after seeing it, I wish I had seen it in the theater – it was so dazzling in music and colour. I felt the plot was pretty mundane – not much originality there. Also there was not much character development. But the atmosphere – setting makes up for all that. The Moulin Rouge becomes a character in its own way. The major theme is that love and accepting love are the most imp. things in life. I also felt there was another message of consumerism and profit at the expense of human welfare – the show must go on, even at the expense of human life – sacrificing Satine’s health for the production of the musical. How to spend $20 w.out really trying: $3 - Latte - starbucks $3 garden salad - restaurant $7 - printer cartridge $6 - video rental the other $1 must have evaporated. that sucks - i hate having less money then before. Felicia babysat this 4 mth. old girl - it was funny watching Adam and her interacting. He wasn't really pa

Today was one of my favourite films of all time - also one of my favourite Woody Allen films. It is a very deep film that touches on a lot of the big questions in life - meaning, death, suffering, forgiveness. If you haven't seen it, sell your kids and go out and rent it. Watching Moulin Rouge tonight - never seen it - never wanted to see it. but there you go. So in the past I have enjoyed going to a coffee shop and enjoying a latte while reading a book or sometime i go to a pub and have a drink - today i got a slurpee and sat on a bench on the seawall. A slurpee always makes you feel like a kid no matter how old you are. My earliest memory of drinking slurpees is when I was about 10 or 11. In the summer I was addicted to some crappy computer game on our Texas Instruments (!) computer. Everyday I would bike to the 7/11 on 8th st. and get a slurpee and bike back and drink it while p[laying my game. The cups used to be those really waxy paper ones. That 7/11 is still there - a nice r

So today we discussed the first episode of the 10 part series called The Decalogue by a Polish fil maker - it is an awesome film and I hope to see the other 9. The second hour was a discussion on wether grace can be mediated through film. it was pretty interesting too. the profs are really cool. we're selling our car - anyone interested let me know - its a black 98 beetle with 102 ks on it - excellent condition.

First day of my class! Looks promising. It is called "Ecclesiastes throught the lens of conetmeporary film." We watch 13 films and discuss how the themes from Ecclesiastes correspond with them. Also went to the dentist today. Was flipping through a photo album he has and there is a pic of Adam Clayton from U2 who got his teeth cleaned there! Hilarious! Nice teeth buddy!

So Adam wakes up with a high fever and now he's shaking. This makes mom and dad quite jumpy. So the decision is made to take him to the hospital to get checked out. The initial exam went quite fast but then we had to wait for the little guy to pee so they could test his urine. Adam did not pee for 2 hours!!!! It was so boring - I fell asleep on the hospital cot. We were there from 6-9 this morning. Everything is fine. He has a virus which should go away in a couple of days. I too have a virus which I hope will go away in a few days. Heard Darrel Johnson preach this morning at tenth ave. alliance - that guy is unreal. He is my favourite preacher in the whole world. I was so pumped up after. Tonight I went to a lecture at Granville Chapel. it was ok. I'm on a panel which will respond to the speaker next week - that should be cool. see you later

So the Islamic nuts have struck again - leaving carnage and destruction in their wake. No matter what they do, they will fail. Every attack strengthens the resolve of decent people everywhere. New York is still there. London is still there. Islamic lunatics - your time is coming - you live by the sword and most certainly will die by the sword. You may not be afraid to die but you are afraid to fail but fail you will. Your mission is doomed. God help those in London who are revuilding and helping the hurting. Bring justice on the cowards who planned these devilish acts. I am SOOOO ticked at these wackos.

so adam is giving us a bit of a scare - he's got a bit of a fever and he threw up - his first real throw up - not spitting up. we're going to monitor him throughout the night and if it gets worse will have to take him to the hospital. please pray for him. other then that bit of drama, i am finally starting to feel a little bit better - the congestion is going down and i am starting to hear again. if adam is feeling better i'm going to go to tenth ave. alliance tomorrow. darrel johnson is preaching. darrel is one of my 2 favourite preachers. the other is earl palmer from university presbyterian in seattle. so anyways stay free brothers and sisters.

still feel congested - still have the earache - things are notlooking up for me. now the boy is sick too - he has a faver - poor little guy. looks like its going to be sad days around here until we're all healthy again. hope i'm at least better by monday when my class starts. bought some clothes at the gap - they were having this good sale - i saved $125 on jeans and a nice shirt. i went to holt renfrew to try on some edun jeans - the kind designed by bono and his wife - they didn't fit - they are regular 260 but were on sale for 140 - the clothes there are ludcriously expensive - a hoody for 250!!!, a t-shirt for 75 i always buy all my clothes on sale - i never pay full price. be frugal my friends

paparazzi shot above. so i went to the doctor about my ear ache but he won't prescribe that elexir known as amoxicillin - just decongestant - so i hit up another doctor - she wouldn't bite but she did score me some free advil i feel like a junkie. went to the screening of a movie called the decalogue - it was a serious eastern european film about life, death and other stuff. it was well done, but with my aching body i would have preferred something lighter. met some new students today. looking forward to my LAST CLASS!

Yaletown Originally uploaded by stan00 . The view from my window.

9:00 AM - sitting at my desk in my home office overlooking the area of yaletown in downtown vancouver, listening to bruce cockburn sing: "and the cold rain outside, and i can not scrape this dream off of my eyes, and the EMBERS OF EDEN burn, you can even see it from space, and the grey and winding wall between us seems to copy the lines of your face...." i woke up last night at 3:30 AM with a piercing ear ache - i've never had such a piercing pain in my head before. it was like someone was driving an ice pick deeper and deepr into my left ear. it doesn't hurt as much now but i think i'll still get it checked out. trying to brainstorm some new articles to start writing on. how's this - bob geldof has the storngest prophetic voice in the world today and is being used by God to bring justice to the imbalance of this world the first screening of my film class is today - its a film called the decalogue - no clue what its about. "we will all go places we have n

Aha! I have been inspired by one of the last posters to recall a humorous episode that took place on the white water rafting trip on Friday. So here's the scene - we have been trained on what to do in the rafts - we are all geared up in wet suits, rubber boots and helmets, we are sitting in the raft waiting to go. The guide is giving us instructions and then stops and looks directly at me and says, "Do you understand english?" Now if I hadn't been so shocked by his question, I could have come up with a whole slew of responses such as: "No". "I just got off another boat and I thought this is the way I become a citizen , by shooting the rapids in the middle of the Canadian Wilderness." "I understand english, but not one it is spoken by a kiwi." (our guide was from new zealand.) "I don't know where I am." Why would this guy think that I don't understand english when I am with a group of loud (predominatley caucasian) guys?

things i don't like: grey cold rainy weather being sick being cranky and tired all three of the above have conspired together to knock the joie de vivre right out of me. i am in the bordertown between sickness and health as this cold virus teases me. everything looks grey. things are falling apart. people are mean. we need a fresh rain to wipe away the sin and hurt. have the boy tonight - rented the french connection to watch on the tv. it's a classic. i'm starting to run out of things to write about - any suggestions? don't be shy. post people post! "I've been decieved by the clown inside if me."

so after the best weekend ever, i suffered through on eof the most stressful days with adam ever. he was just in a foul mood all day. when he wasn't crying, he was yelling - i've been on edge since noon. i thought i was just going to lose it with him around 3 this afternoon, but thank god for grace. went all the way down to regent ot buy a book just to discover i left my credit card at home - rats. there were a lot of students hanging around. ran into darrel johnson - we are trying to organize a time to meet. nothing much to blog about today - just stressed out by the boy.

Adam Originally uploaded by stan00 . Adam macking on the ladies.

Fishing Originally uploaded by stan00 . All that struggle and pain and in the end ... nothing

So anyways this could easily be one of the most memorable week-ends of my life. Thanks to the incredible generosity of my friend's brother, me and 11 other guys were treated to one heck of a stag weekend. As mentioned previously we went white water rafting. Yesterday we went salmon fishing in the ocean - unfortunately we did not catch anything but it was pretty relaxing just sitting in the boat. And then and then!!! We all headed over to a restaurant run by one of the top chefs in Canada - we had a private room in the back and were treated to an incredible amount of food and drinks. Then we all headed back into the limos and went to one of the top clubs in the city - we pulled up with snoop dogg blaring out of the cars and were allowed to walk straight in to the club - no line up for us! after the club we drove around stanley park, parked and just kind of hung out. that was about the end of one unforgetable night (and week-end) i am not really sure how anyone i know would be able t

This may have been one of the funest days of my life - me and 13 other guys headed up to whistler in 2 black cadillac limousines for an afternoon of white water rafting - it was SOOO much fun - it was a blast! we capped of the day with an awesome meal at a nice restaurant in yaletown the rafting was amazing - stunning scenery, fast rides and just general hilarity with being with such a fun bunch of guys. the meal was at one of the trendiest hotels and bars in vancouver - it was completely filled with "beautiful" people but it also showed to me the shallowness of that kind of life - a life marked by clothes, money, fancy cars and serial monogomy. at its core it is empty. i have had some amzingly deep spiritual conversations with some guys this week-end who are intrigued byt he fact that i am a pastor! a pastor - what the heck is that? i really feel like god is using me this weekend! today was a day from hell for felicia though - she spent 6 hours and 3 trips to home hardware s

Yesterday was an action packed day. Picked up my friend form the airport at 8:30 AM - went straight to Sophie's for breakfast. Sophie's is a restaurant in Kitsalano where I met Bono in 1997. they have the best breakfasts in Vancouver. Then we strolled around downtown - had cappucions at that place I said that I liked before - Caffe Artigiano. Then came back home for a nap. Had a meeting at the church with a pastor to discuss my new position that may start in the fall - it went well. Got a massage! Had to recover somehow from the abuse that the Grouse Grind poured on me. Came home for a nap. Went on a date! Went to Fatburger and then saw Batman Begins which was prett great. Throughout the day I fought nausea and just general feelings of illness. At night (11:00) I went to the reception of my buddy's 3 day stag party. Met some of the other guys who I will be hanging with all weekend. Looks like its going to be one interesting week-end. "I think we agree, the past is over