Loss

Ninan Family - Missing One

On Monday Felicia suffered a miscarriage. She was three months pregnant. On Monday and Tuesday we started slowly telling family and close friends.

Today, I e-mailed about 100 people who know us well enough to be able to grieve with us. As of tonight 34 people have e-mailed back with their condolences.

As, is usual when things like this happen, I turn to writing. I am finishing up an article which I will probably submit to Relevant and some other rags and see if they will publish it.

Losing an unborn child is one of those things I never expected would happen to me - just other people. I prefer grieving vicariously.

Felicia's physical pain is over - Tuesday was pretty tough.

I think about the baby everyday. I feel like something is missing inside me too.

This Sunday we will talk about the loss at church. We have invited another couple that lost a child in a similar way this year to also share, and then pray with us, and then we will pray for them.

We are also toying with hosting a public seminar and memorial service for other families who have suffered a miscarriage or still- birth. It could be a way to bless Yaletown.

I cancelled as many meetings as I could this week as Felicia and I limp on. We've gone out more then usual. We went for a hike through Pacific Spirit Park at UBC. And tomorrow Felicia and I are going to a movie. Are we filling up time with diversions? Or, is this part of grieving?

Pray for us as we mourn the kid we never got to meet.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Having been there, bro, let me give you what little wisdom I have. Don't let anyone diminish the seriousness of your grief. Allow yourself the time and space to do what is best for you and your family, even if others might think it isn't "right".

When we lost our first and only child, I wrote this:

http://missional.blog.com/2216854/

Peace,
Jamie
8:24 AM
ajt said…
Oh Santosh. I'm so sorry. But also so glad you've shared this so that others can grieve with you.

Praying for you all!
9:24 AM
ReverendKathryn said…
Thank you for speaking about this difficult situation. As a chaplain, it is rare to go to the maternity ward and hence miscarriage or stillbirth is the main reason that I am called to maternity. When this happens, most people tend to think about the mother, and the husband/father is neglected. Thank for sharing your experience. I am so sorry about this experience in your family. It is not easy and the grief hits everyone differently. Hopefully you will have support in your community and from each other. And as to your comment about diversion or part of grieving, I think that it is both. And that is ok.
2:28 PM
Anonymous said…
A friend of mine recently said that there should be a 'life-law' against the loss of a child. She's probably right. I'm sorry for your loss.

Peace,
craig.
11:20 PM
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