Dreams Unlocked

still carrying this irritating virus around. beautiful day today! bright sunshine. went for a nice 5km. run using my new ipod. went out with felicia for dinner - a real date! the choices for soup were lobster bisque or ministrone. i asked the waited if anyone actually had the miniestrone and he laughed and said 9 out of 10 people get the bisque. on our way out i chatted with the chef - he agreed. then i took off for our church's annual meeting. its basically a business meeting but i gave a 5 minute blurb about first@night which got them all excited. it was easy to be excited because i really am excited about what god is doing in our community. i closed by quoting our theme verse isaiah 43 - about god doing a new thing, not looking back at the old etc. then i said and to quote my favourite theologian , bob dylan - "the old road is rapidly aging. get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand". afterwards dr. james houston (the founder of regent college) asked me if i ...

felicia and adam went to the chinese new years parade. i am still feeling sick so i opted out. the sky matches my mood - grey and grumpy. today i'm going to try to do some reading. i am reading "preaching to a shifting culture". the chpater on pluralism by bryan chapell was excellent. the chapter i am reading right now goes into a lot of complex communication theory stuff. cuz i'm sick it is hard for me to concentrate. bruce kuhm performs tonight - bruce is a broadway actor who now has a 1 man show based on the gospel of luke. he has performed it around the world and now will perform it at first@night. had a good leadership meeting last night - got a lot of stuff covered. everyone is in good spirits even though our plug gets pulled after may. carla - quit playing pacman. play galaga instead.

called in sick today - dang flu bringing me down. i discovered i still had some work at the office so i went in anyway in the afternoon. also went to the doc. got my prescription renewed. i am working on a short message based on the text, "where your treasure is, there your heart is also." been wondering where my treasure is: family, ministry, reading but all of it is subjected under the reign of God. my life's ambition is to extend his kingdom. then again my heart gets drawn off the spiritual into the physical - the struggle paul complains about in romans. advertizements, pretty girls, rich people all make me want the wrong thing. time alone w. god, playing w. my boy, in the company of my friends - these things bring me back.

just got back from our pastor's retreat. had a nice time yesterday afternoon laying hands and praying for each other. also played cranium yesterday w. everyone - it was interesting seeing the other pastors in a very different light. this morning was one long long session. many important issues discussed, including the future of fisrt@night. the future is in god's hands. i just need to take my pasrt in watching it unfold. feeling under the weather - cancelled my appointments for tomorrow so that i can stay at home and rest. i just realized i will probably have to go in to go over the set-up and lighting for the special drama on sudnay night - it will be a different setup then normal. am in going to be here after may - god only knows.

so both flea and i are under the weather. i spent 2 hours in bed yesterday aft. feeling better today. went in for a key meeting with our sr. pastor, another pastor and the head of church planting for my denomination to discuss the future of first@night after may. it looks like the church is unable to come up with any more funds for after may - but if i find other funding they may allow me to continue to have an office and for us to use pinder. the rebel in me wants to go it alone but i know its better to maintain a healthy mutual relationship with fbc. big news - i have entered the ipod nation. my nano arrived today and i spent most of the afternoon loading it w. songs. ahhhh - my materialistic consumer needs have been met as my soul continues to erode. pray for me. heading off to keats island for a retreat w. the rest of the pastors tomorrow. should be interesting. blessings sn

rainy and grey monday - yuck. last night i was so encouraged. there was these young people from new jersey who had come to oregon for a wedding. they decided to come up to canada for the day. they went to relevantmagazine's church database and found first@night! i guess we're listed on there although i can not remember signing us up to it. i also can't find it now on the net. i was so pumped! the funniest part was that on their way up here they passed all these cool big emergent churches like imago dei in portland and mars hill in seattle. and they end up at our small little community! had a great time visiting with them. since we are hurting for worship leaders we did "worship karaoke" last night. iworship has these dvds that contain a bunch of worship songs on them - they also have the words set against beautiful scenery. i was nervous about using them but they were quite effective. i was a bit disappointed with my sermon. i wasn't going to read the whole st...

(philip yancey or israeli bombmaker)? this could well be an ideal type of saturday for me. here's a run-down: brunch at milestones w. the fam then head off to kids books for their annual 20% off sale - buy a bunch of books for adam and 1 for daddy stop at starbucks on the way home - pick up drinks come home, read to adam some of his new books read one of my own books go see the movie "munich" - pretty good - btw if anyone has seen it doesn't the israeli bomb maker look kinda like philip yancey? sprint home so felicia can leave for work the movie started at 3:30 so i thought for sure i would be home by 6 - the movie ended at 6:30! - felicia leaves for work at 6:30! so i sprint back from tinseltown - i was so wasted when i got home - i could feel blood in my chest and throat - felicia made it on time. the boy was very very clingy tonight - read him some stories and he hit the hay. now i have to fine-tune my sermon and go over the service before tomorrow. "the only ...

did some intense exegesis this morning slicing and dicing through gen 27 - jacob steals esau's blessing. those people were messed up - family dysfunction. had lunch w. the fam. then went to fedex to see if my package had arrived. in typical fashion everything is screwed up and i won't be able to pick it up until monday. watched constant gardner tonight w. flea. those pharmaceutical companies is bad. tomorrow going for brunch w. flea and the boy - kids books is a big kids bookstore in town - they have this big sale every year where everything is 20% off so we're going to stock up for the boy. 3 days until stephen harper is crowned king. paul martin has been looking extra desperate lately. i think jack layton should shave that stache - it makes him look kinda sleazy. kevin newman was interviewing stephen harper in front of his boyhood home in toronto. the snow is just dumping down on them and they're both acting like its no big deal.

had some good encouragement from some local folks and other friends on the net - thank you. starting to look at the may cutoff as more of a transition of the ministry, rather then the end of it. in the most simple terms first baptist can not afford to fund this particular ministry. i think they still support the ministry in spirit but just can not materially underwrite it anymore. so what does this mean - it means we find funding from other sources. we keep going - we keep growing. we find a new locale - we find a new church that will partner with us and has the means to support us financially - we find a group of churches with a vision for downtown. the possibilities are endless - my prayer and hope is that god is guiding us into what will someday a great testimony. my spirits are high! i get despondent if i choose to mull over it so i choose the high road instead. had a good lunch with yawo today - he's a good guy. got my haircut - my stylist said she would come on sunday! pray f...

so here's a big one - first baptist church is carrying a large deficit. as a result they are unable to hire people for 3 positions in the new year - also they will have to cut funding for first@night after our contract expires in may. i was told this in person this morning - i kind of sensed it was coming but it was still hard to hear. i was discouraged for about an hour and then i thought that this could also be another possibility for god to show his ability to provide. his supernatural ability to make a "river in the desert". i was actually quite encouraged by the afternoon wondering how god was going to keep us going after may. i shared this with the home group tonight - they committed to pray and were also quite optimistic about the future. god has been at work in first@night - people have been ministered to, the lost have been found, the found have become more found. i know god is with us. caught up with my buddy layne today - he and his family are moving to a subur...

thanks to everyone who e-mailed me and said they prayed for my church today. we had a difficult pastors meeting today and i really feel we are both oppressed and under spiritual attack. so keep up the prayers and i'll let you know what happens. got snowed under paperwork today - just forms and cheques and stuff. i did hook up w. my buddy daryl for a couple of beers after work though so that was good. felicia is working tonight. i worked out this morning!!! woo hoo!! i felt great all day! finished working the angles - pretty good but not his best. now started abba's child by brennan manning - looks promising. you are god's beloved - that is your primary identity. no matter what happens you are and always will be god's beloved.

i had previously taken saturday as my day off - now i have switched it to mondays. this is due primarily to the fact that i had been going in on mondays and not getting anything done. i would be spacing out and shuffling through papers. thus it would be a better use of my time to use monday to "come down" from sunday nights and replenish myself by puttering around the apt. and wrestling with adam. wierd thing - i woke up this morning - the table next to the bed was knocked over and my glasses were allbent up wierd - maybe an evil spirit disliked my cool green glasses. last night was really good - eric led worship w. mylene and did a very good job. we had several new people including a couple of young guys who are with a ministry working in the downtown eastside. also a young girl who live near the church - she has a nominal catholic background - she said that during mass she would always fall asleep but that she understood everything tonight! so god continues to draw people i...

i'm trying to take that ad thing off that is at the top of this page but it is more complicated then i thought. today was the 25th or 26th straight day of rain in vancouver. on sunday we tie the record which was set in like 1952. i can't believe this- the whole city is suffering from seasonal affective disorder. had mark and terri over for dinner tonight - it was fun - they are both really nice and unpretentious. was locked up in my office all day - writing the sermon. this week it is from gen 25 - the birth of jacob and esau - how they were born into a state of division and how god chose the younger over the older. yesterday i was invited by a group of pentecostal pastors to see some of the work some of their people are doing in the downtown eastside. it was quite amazing. they actually prayed for me - one of the pastors thanked god that He had chosen me for this task. ihave to tell you that went to the depths of my soul. it really hit me hard. god could have chosen anyone - b...

today is the 24th straight day of rain in vancouver - we are well on our way to beating the current record of 26 days. consequently my seasonal affective disorder has acted up - wait i see a patch of blue sky! wow - the flood is receding - i am going to release the dove. at home this morning - felicia had a rough night at work so i decided to stay home to let her sleep. will do some limited work from home. have a lunch meeting with dr. ken nedd (kennedd.com) he is a family physician who specializes in stress relief. he is also an amzing public speaker - i am hoping to gain some pointers from him. bible study to night.

wrote the devotional for the staff for tomorrow - lessons adam has taught me - i thought of actually bringing adam but then thought he would probably be too squirmy. i really have nothing to say tonight - forgive me. i will post more tomorrow.

i was on bowen island from friday night to sunday morning. saturday was a day of silence and solitude. i followed a guidebook called "alone with the lord" written by one of my former profs - gordon smith. in that book he outlines a full day spent alone with god. there are 4 main sessions - these sessions include meditation on a spec. passage, 15 minutes of silence and journalling. so in all i spent 1 full hour in silence - it was quite profound. i am now trying to incorporate it into my daily devotional practises - at least 5 minutes of silence. rivendell is quite a stunning retreat center and you only pay what you can afford - i guess it must be subsidized by wealthy patrons. i plan to do this personal retreat quarterly. the main thing that came to me was from the book of phillipians - do not worry about anything, but pray about everything. this has helped me to turn my worries into prayers which is quite life-changing. also - let the peace of christ guard your hearts and mi...

i am sitting in a pub on bowen island. i am on my personal retreat - i haven't got to the retreat center yet - i stopped for some dinner on my way. the service in this place sucks - already i am having a huge conflict in my head over the tip. its really dark on the island - not many street lights - aparrently the retreat center is at the top of the hill and is quite a hike - i hope the bears don't get me or i wander off the path. anyways i will probably post again on sunday or monday with the reports of my findings. finished the sermon this morning - emotional wallop for the conclusion. sn addition at 9:17 p.m. - this retreat center has wireless! ha ha! this is hilarious - here i am trying to "get away from it all" and i can travel the globe through ther internet. this center is at the top of a hill i was soacked with sweat by the time i got up here - got my room - this place is very very nice and you only pay what you can afford. my brother told me i should tell them...

the boy is sitting on my lap eating an apple. pretty straightforward day - sermon prep. - "interviewed" someone for worship leading. hope she works out. had lunch w. flea and the boy - thai food. heading out to bowen island for my quarterly personal retreat. really looking forward to unplugging from this urban jungle for awhile and finding god in solitude. "its the stuff of country songs but i guess its something to go on so where is the hope and where is the faith and the LOVE?"

first day back at the grind - in the afternoon i had a couple of meetings and then just as i was getting into some preliminary sermon studying, the receptionist asks if i would see this woman who wants to talk to a pastor. i said sure. in walks sherry, who says she needs $30 for a bus ticket back to hope. again, i am in the uncomfortable position of playing a social worker. i tell her to come back tonight and talk to the pastor who can help her. then she asks if the church can help her get groceries. i know the church usually has vouchers for safeway somewhere, but no one can find them. so i go to iga with her and buy her some bologna, buns and tomatos and chocalte milk and a bowl of chili. i know the church will reimburse me. again 45 minutes lost of sermon prep. and my attitude doesn't seem to be getting any better. god, help me. (pray for me).

looked after adam this aft. - felicia went to see memoirs of a geisha - i told her she should write her autobiogtaphy and call it "memoirs of a felicia" the boy was good - he is getting more and more animated - dancing on his tiptoes and climbing all the way to the top of his high chair. i did some reading - witness of preaching, and tipping point. we went to the grocery store and got some stuff - also picked up a couple of videos - grizzly man and the original king kong watched grizzly man tonight - very disturbing documentary of a disturbed man who lived among the grizzlies for 13 years, studying them and "protecting" them until they ate him - a vivid portrait of a man's descent into insanity as he abandons human civilization for the wilds of the bears - i have actually not really heard of a story similar to this one before - very compelling stuff. tomorrow - life goes back to normal! staff meeting, sermon prep - organizing my life, etc etc. holidays were good...

preached this morning at the 11 o clock service at first baptist. it was interesting - this was the most relaxed i have ever felt when preaching. i preached on eph. 3:1-12 on the inclusion of the gentiles into the people of god - it was epiphany sunday. feedback was very good with several people asking me for the text of the sermon. relaxed in the aft. then headed out to see brokeback mountain w. patrick - i just love the whole gay cowboy genre. it was actually quite a good movie - i predict best picture, best actor for heath ledger and best ciinematography and best director. it has the best cinematography of any film i have seen since "city of god". will probably review it for relevant this week. tomorrow is the last day of holidays, then back to the grind. sn