Listen To Me
Listening to Soph.
I have dealt (in only 4 months!) with a whole spectrum of human break-down, illness and suffering. And then this week I learned another new thing and it is this:
Most people simply need to talk,
and most people don't have anyone to talk to.
I met with 4 people so far this week, with 2 more to go tomorrow. The 4 people I spoke with couldn't be more different form each other in terms of gender, age, economic back-ground, etc, etc. But.... they all simply needed someone to talk to. One person drove all the way from North Vancouver to talk to me - that's over an hour of driving each way, for a 30 minute meeting with me.
I came to the realization that in the majority of these types of meeting I probably spend 80% of the time just listening. I am hesitant at any kind of advice and counsel, so that is usually kept to a minimum. What I can do is offer things from my own experience, the reading of a scripture passage that might have something to do with what's going on, and pray. And, that's it.
Pastoral Care boils down to the gift of presence and the gift of empathy and the gift of authentic care.
When someone feels they have been listened to, it validates their experience and their emotion. It communicates to them that they are not alone. And isn't that our biggest fear - that we are all alone? (Refrain from a Nirvana song just enters my head - "All alone is all we are"). Sorry Kurt, its just not true.
But, the breakdown of family and community in our society leads to these feelings of alienation. The result is that people like me, end up just listening a lot.
And then the burden become - who is listening to me? Do I have friends to turn me, who will have similar empathetic ears? I have Felicia and a few others.
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