The Empty Lives of Tony Soprano, Walter White and Don Draper


Good-bye.
James Gandolfini
1961-2013

James Gandolfini died recently. The heavy set actor will forever be married in our minds to the character of Tony Soprano, the New Jersey crime boss who struggled with panic attacks while trying to manage his place in his mafia family, along with his own family.

The Sopranos marked a shift in American television. Episodes were very carefully written. Characters took entire seasons to fully flesh out. Hints of greatness that had been previously seen on shows like Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue had now come to full fruition.

It marked the beginning of many similar series: Deadwood, Dexter, Breaking Bad, the Shield, The Wire, Mad Men. These all became very well produced, directed and written tv shows. This new wave brought with it a new level of darkness in subject matter, previously reserved for R rated films.

And it also high-lighted a male character I call "The Flawed Man".

Tony Soprano made his living by breaking the law. He was unfaithful to his wife and was raising children who resented him.
Walter White from Breaking Bad becomes a drug king-pin resorting to murder and terror to keep hold of his position.
Don Draper of Mad Men is a philandering functioning alcoholic whose entire identity is a farce.
Jimmy McNulty of The Wire is a police officer who gets drunk, has one night stands and doctors evidence to make his case.

These are our examples of what a man is?
I hope not.

All these men have taken their brokeness and exaggerated them in order to meet some deep inner need.

People can live like this in fictional worlds created by gifted writers and directors. But, reality tempers out any romance or glamour of living a selfish life, centered around our own needs or desires.

I watched the Season 6 finale of Mad Men tonight. It was interesting because it seemed to show what the real life consequences are for someone who tries to live like our actions have no consequences. (I won't ruin it for you - let's just say it's sobering in more ways than one).

What television cannot show, however is the deep inner oceans of shame and guilt that steadily rise as we continue to build lives based on selfishness and greed. The reason they can't show it is because it is an inner emotion that can only be hinted at in art. If you have lived a season of your life where you marginalized the needs of others out, then you know what I mean.

Don't be like the flawed men of award winning television.
Be a wholly integrated human being and live out a life of service and love to others.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Go to church

Image
We are several months out of even the most limited pandemic restrictions. I cannot remember the last time I wore a mask. When I see someone wearing a mask, it feels nostalgic - a reminder of a strange time when that person was the norm and I - the unmasked one would look strange. Despite the fact that we can break the 6-foot barrier and admire the lower halves of other's faces - I have been surprised at the number of Christians I meet who are just NOW starting to return to live worship services. I understand the lure of the live stream worship experience while sitting at home on the couch - worshipping in sweats and hot coffee in my mug - much more appealing than a hard couch and no coffee. I've also met believers boldly walking away from regular church attendance and proclaiming they can worship God anywhere - including the pickleball court. Nature is my sanctuary. "God’s Spirit and gift of salvation are not defined by church walls. But without an embodied community of be
Read more

Coaster goes up (a little)

Image
Unused photo from the Globe and Mail shoot. So, last night and all day today I was on the top floor of the Hyatt Regency Hotel in downtown Vancouver. Quite auspicious surroundings for church council/pastors meetings! there were stunning views of the North Shore mountains, Stanley Park and the downtown buildings. The meetings were lengthy, exhausting and a lot of work. Basically, FBC has been on a year long journey of crafting its vision statement and core values - we did it with the assistance of a coach from Outreach Canada. We are coming down the home stretch and needed to hammer out everything for presentation to the congregation. Today was the first day that I have begun to feel lighter and ready to resume the work. Although still feeling wounded from this whole mess, I'm ready to limp on. It's true: Sunday,Monday - elation at finally reaching a goal of holding a first@night service in a trendy nightclub - excitement at getting press coverage - even thoug
Read more

Where the Light Falls

Image
I've read two books by Augustine - City of God and Confessions. I think I've read his confessions 3 times. I like him because he is a good writer, has lots of self-insight, and loves God passionately. He was very honest about his pre-Christian life. At one point he makes this observation: "I had my back toward the light, and my face toward the things on which the light falls." Most people have their back to the light - and they focus where his light falls. Where the light falls refers to God's common grace. God does not keep good things only for those who follow him. Because he is good he distributes his blessings and grace widely. Where the light falls are places of grace: art, music, beauty, sunshine, loving relationships, a baby's smile. But - these things are not the light - to enjoy and encounter the light, we must turn around and follow the rays of light back to the source. What is the source of beauty, love, and truth? Jesus said he is the light of the
Read more