A Four Year Old Faces Rejection
I love Tuesdays. Tuesday are my day off. When you are a pastor, you work Sundays and so most pastors select a day during the week to take off. The best part of my day off is that I get to pick my 4 year old son James up from his pre-Kindergarten class.
Today, his teacher said James was a bit quiet and not his usual exuberant self. And then she quietly confided that his best friend had ignored him and had been playing with other kids. James' tender 4 year old heart was broken. Felicia asked me if that made me sad. Of course it did. No emotionally healthy parent is immune to the pain that their children endure from time to time.
But later on, I pondered it a bit more. I am still sad that James was sad. But, the rejection and pain he went through today help form him into a whole human being. If James went through life facing no pain or rejection, he wouldn't be real. He would be a detached person without the ability to empathize with others in pain.
The pain James went through today can be used by him for future disappointments. It teaches him that even our closest friends will disappoint and hurt us. And it will help him realize that he also has the capacity to injure others through his own indifference. I don't expect him to actually learn all this stuff today - he is only 4 and is currently playing with his Lego Hero Factory action figure, (not nursing his emotional bruise). But under the guidance of parents who love him, we can help guide his heart out of hurt into healing, and he will mature through the journey.
The deepest hurt a human being endures is the pain of rejection. When someone we love experiences rejection we need to double our expressions of love, affirmation and acceptance of them. Which I plan to do tonight with extra snuggles and extra halloween candy.
Today, his teacher said James was a bit quiet and not his usual exuberant self. And then she quietly confided that his best friend had ignored him and had been playing with other kids. James' tender 4 year old heart was broken. Felicia asked me if that made me sad. Of course it did. No emotionally healthy parent is immune to the pain that their children endure from time to time.
But later on, I pondered it a bit more. I am still sad that James was sad. But, the rejection and pain he went through today help form him into a whole human being. If James went through life facing no pain or rejection, he wouldn't be real. He would be a detached person without the ability to empathize with others in pain.
The pain James went through today can be used by him for future disappointments. It teaches him that even our closest friends will disappoint and hurt us. And it will help him realize that he also has the capacity to injure others through his own indifference. I don't expect him to actually learn all this stuff today - he is only 4 and is currently playing with his Lego Hero Factory action figure, (not nursing his emotional bruise). But under the guidance of parents who love him, we can help guide his heart out of hurt into healing, and he will mature through the journey.
The deepest hurt a human being endures is the pain of rejection. When someone we love experiences rejection we need to double our expressions of love, affirmation and acceptance of them. Which I plan to do tonight with extra snuggles and extra halloween candy.
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