Spiritual Direction
Sophia looking very smart.
But, Eugene Peterson said that EVERY pastor needs a spiritual director if they expect to survive ministry. Considering the source, I decided to take him up on it.
I started to see a spiritual director in North Vancouver. I discovered him through the Henri Nouwen society of Canada. Our first visit was in a JJ Beans. We hit it off right away. He was cool and funny... and most importantly he wasn't weird.
So, we started to meet once a month - sometimes in his home and sometimes at the church he attends. Once we met in a cramped church library.
The first meeting in his home, I remember I was talking non-stop. I finally paused, and asked "Is this ok?" He nodded that all was well, and I was welcome to continue.
Now, this betrayed a truth to me, as I reflect back on it. The truth is - pastors are isolated.
What I mean by that is we are not cut off from others. It would be pretty hard to be a pastor and not relate to others. We are in the people business. What I mean is that most pastors have inner worlds that no one else gets to hear about, except their spouse.
Pastors struggle with a lot of secret things - and they usually work in churches or ministries where it is actually difficult to let down their guard and reveal their humanity. Believe me, I can testify from experience.
I have a friend who is pastoring at a large "succesful" mega-church in southern California. He called me last week. He related that he shared with a senior leader of the church that he had hit some kind of crisis in his faith. This leader proceeded to yell, lecture and bully him down into a whimpering mass of jelly.
Then my fried wryly told me that "authenticity" and "honesty" were core values of his church. Yeah, right.
So, we keep this stuff bottled up, and unless we can unload somewhere safe, these inner secrets start to do battle with our well-being.
Hence, the safety and therapy of a spiritual director - someone who can help you listen to your life as Parker Palmer would say. Someone to co-listen to what the Spirit is saying and doing in your life.
And it helps... a lot. I can't recommend this highly enough. It takes a special person to BE a spiritual director. I don't think I'm up for the task for someone else. Maybe in time.
So - if you are in ministry, get a spiritual director..... now.
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